You have it or you don't...

You have it or you don't... I don't, I am not a size 0, never was, never will. Depressed about it? Certainly.

I tryed to loose weight before, hundreds time! Did I succeed? Lost 20 pounds once, gain it all back. How sad. Sad also because I spend more time being negative about myself then being happy about trying and doing well. I say that I need to change that, and it is now or never.
I use to be so good; eating, exercising and being so motivated, I lost it all. Got an open myomectomie last summer, I am still recuperating and gained weight. I am now struggling with being depress and not having the energy to do anything about it. I was really good for a couple of week, running 15K a week, didn't loose 1 pound! Stopped again. I can't do that anymore, and today is the day that I am starting all over. I went to the doctor last week and mentionned how difficult loosing weight always been for me. We are doing blood test in the morning to check my thyroids. Side of me wish that is it! That is why I don't loose weight. But if I am truly honest with myself I am not doing everything I should be doing...

I am changing that right now! Thanks god I had burger and fries (home made in oven no oil) tonight! :-)